Some chick I know told me she’s about to become a grandmother. What makes this news interesting to me is that this particular gal is four months younger than I. My oldest kid still can’t open a can of Spaghettios by himself. Her oldest is banging hotties and knocking them up. [...]

Pee-wee football started, which means summer is over. The one thing I’ve noticed already this year is that the parents now all sit around thumbing their Blackberrys or iPhones or Blackjacks or whatever the entire time practice is going on. This leads me to make the determination that I am probably the last person in [...]

I took this week off work to hang out with my kid and save a few bucks by not sending him to camp. What a mistake. This is what we did: Monday - The Dark Knight, lunch and video games at Dave and Buster’s. Cha-ching. Tuesday - Body Worlds 2, lunch and video games [...]

I told the wife to stop calling my cell phone and start text messaging me. I’m not sure if that’s a dick move or not. Who cares. Nothing is more frustrating than having semi-relevant e-mails you send get ignored/blown off. It’s happened to me probably a half dozen times in the last couple [...]

This is my random question for the day: if you’re at work and having an emotional telephone conversation with your son, who you’re accusing of being a lying, drug addicted thief who is not now and will never again be welcome in your home in quite a loud manner, shouldn’t you at least close [...]

I took in a game at Camden Yards to see the Orioles play the Tigers Friday night. The good thing about the current state of the Orioles is that you can walk up half an hour before game time and get great seats with no stupid Ticketmaster fees. In this case, I tried [...]

The last time I went to a midnight showing of a new movie it was to see The Matrix Reloaded. Actually, I think that movie started at 10:00pm. Anyway, I’m a big Batman guy and they were showing The Dark Knight at 12:01, 12:02, 12:03, 12:04, 12:05, 12:06 and 12:30 this morning for die hards [...]

As a perpetual cynic and aspiring curmudgeon, I cannot take Dara Torres’ performance at the U.S. Olympic swimming trials at face value. I just can’t. She is 41 years old and is sleeker, stronger and faster in the water than she was TWENTY years ago. And she’s setting records (and even breaking [...]

Back in the latter half of 1999 everyone and his mother was publishing a “greatest [whatever] of the past 1000 years” list. It was the thing to do. I remember seeing one such list that gave one man’s opinion on the greatest innovations. I can’t remember any of them other than what [...]

There’s a report on espn.com about Barry Bonds’ inability to find a job this year and how his agent is beside himself over the fact and implying that collusion between the owners is to blame (he doesn’t bring up the word although the article discusses it). As most baseball fans know, team owners were [...]